Esther, The Queen of Hiding

ESTHER

by Tehilla Wise

I am the queen of hiding

This is noble                       this is a shame

I hide my name     I hide my brain

                                                      Let this fine, fine frame do the talking

I hide

                  Because their questions bore me

                                                      Frankly, I don’t have the time

I hide because my life is on the line

                  They fear me

                  They wanna disappear me

Because I am neither here nor                                                        there

                                                      I am everywhere    and they can’t handle that
I am taboo  I am voodoo  I am secret I am magic

This beauty bubbling in me to keep it trapped is tragic

                                                      Breaking me down     bit    by   bit

I hide cuz I don’t fit

I hide cuz they don’tn deserve me

So many times I’ver spoken     but not once have they heard me     

 they hurt me

So I hide because it’s safer inside

I’ve lied

I’ve smiled when ain’t nothing funny

You know, acted chummy with folks who aren’t my friends

                  But I don’t break                                  I bend

Do you comprehend   the depth   of my sin?

I have left myself behind

                                                                                                                                                I have fallen into line

Such a crime   let myself be defined         by what they do not want me to be

And now my cousin tells me this

                                                                        I cannot bend.  I cannot break.

       More than just my life is now at stake

When you do not reveal your whole                                                      that is smothering your soul

When you only give part                                                                                        that is breaking your own heart

                                                                        The way we are is not an error

For anybody who wishes they were fairer

Straighter

Thinner

Lighter

Cooler

More formal

More normal

More prosperous

Preposterous

Who we are is not a mistake

                                    My cousin tells me    lives are now at stake

If I don’t speak   lift my head   quit looking down

If I don’t take this crown and pledge loyalty to my inner royalty

We are sacred    we are special   we are full  we are in control

                                                                                                                              Of our destiny

                                                                                                                              How rich we’ll be if we invest in we

                                                                                          And explore myself   to the brink

To all my boys lovin pink

To all my girls who feel AND think

To every person that is proud

To people loving a woman that is round

                                                      The time for hiding is now over

We were put her for a reason

We won’t stop living   and we know living’s more than breathing

Now giving our whole selves

                  Giving all the haters hell

                                    No more whispers now we shout

I guess I’m the queen of coming out